UNDERSTAND. ACCEPT. MOVE ON.
These are the 3 words my friend told me after my
ex-boyfriend broke up with me. I thought it would be easy but I was wrong.. I thought I'd be okay in a month or two but I was wrong again. How can you understand something that just ruined your dream of having a happy ending?.. and your dream of having that "forever"? I felt like a was in a black hole. Literally. Being sucked in and stretched as fuck by magnets.. fckn black hole.
Tanga din ako e. I would stalk him and his 'girls'
EVERY SINGLE DAY just to check if he's already flirting with someone he works with. (Which, I know, is really stupid -- considering the fact that my goal here is to move on, not to cling to our past) As in his Facebook and Twitter are the ones I check the moment I wake up and before I go to sleep. How pathetic, right? I even told myself that I'll undergo a transformation slash
beautification (GRR - Gandang Ricky Reyes) with this thought in my mind -- "
Gusto kong gumanda para balikan niya ko. As in te, yung kabog talaga!" It's like I'll do whatever it takes for him to notice me and make him want me back. For 4 or 5 months, I've been fooling myself with the hope that he'll want me back. It was really hard to act tough and strong in front of my friends -- well, I guess they already know that I'm in denial whenever I say that I'm okay and I'm over my ex. I remember my friend, Lira, read me a post on Tumblr or Thought Catalog (?) about the steps or phases in moving on.. There's this phase wherein
you think you've already moved on but in reality, you haven't. That moment when you wake up and you feel happy that you're single; come night time, you cry yourself to sleep and you can't stop cursing him for leaving you. Crazy crazy
crazy. Following that is when you'll encounter what they call "
RELAPSE" wherein you're okay but sweet memories of you guys together suddenly pops in you head and poof! you go crazy.. again. It's really funny how accurate that post/blog entry is.
Swak na swak. Looking back at the last 4 crazy months, I can say that I'm proud of myself. Ang dami kong questions na tinanong sa friends ko hoping that they know the answer that might help me move on -- like
"sa tingin mo, bakit mahal ko parin siya kahit ang sama sama niya sakin?" LOL emo kid right here (///_x) Well anyway at least I can say that I've moved on or I'm moving on one step at a time..
Nagkakamali at times but, well, it's part of it.. I keep on looking back. I'm so happy that I didn't try to kill my self this time. HAHA C-R-A-Z-Y. After all the relapses I've experienced; the stalking that I've done; the breakdown that I went through; the 4 months of being stupid and after 3 secret meet-ups with him.. I can say that I am now ready to leave the past behind. It's hard to leave behind something that acted as a core to my everyday life but one way or another, I just have to let it go and close that chapter of my life.
It's time for me to get back on my feet and move on.. surely something or someone better awaits me in the future.
+ + + They say that I should cut my ties with the people that reminds me of him. I disagree. I'm so thankful that I'm still friends with his friends.. (true friends ko rin sila huhu) As a matter of fact, they somehow helped me to move on.
Perly Liao (Skies)
Thank you, Tito Perls!! Sure na to. I'm done! Since happy ka na sa love life mo, dapat ako din. HAHA
The Couples (College friends)
Janella Lua, Adette Raralio, Joshua Raralio and Raffy Raralio
Thank you for meeting up with me last time! Sorry if ginugulo ko kayo with my love questions. Hihi! I'll see you 4 soon! No more triple dates, 5th wheel madness na but it's all G! Thanks for still being there for me kahit sabit lang ako. I love you, guys! I miss you.
Blu Sicat and Ron Buenaventura (Highschool friends)
Thank you sa pag sama sakin sa QQ state of laaayf -- cyber inuman. Huhu love you both!
...
His brother/my sissy,
Ryan Santiago
Hi sissy! Thank you for helping me move on. Although we're not of the same blood or family tree, I still see you as my little brother slash pretty sister. Other people say that it's awkward to be close to the brother of my ex AKA you but it's actually.. steads. Haha! Thank you for taking care of me and protecting me whenever we go out. There's never a dull moment with you, sissy! I love how we can act crazy when we're together! Especially the winter wonderland craziness in Eastwood!! I love you to bits!!!!! Di man ako magiging sister-in-law mo, well we're more than that. Sisters of the century! Hihi labo. Take care of Raiko for me :*
Here's to a bright and lovely future ahead of us, sissy! I love you and thank you!
Thank you to my own cousins who never got tired of my heartbreaking kwentos and kadramahan! I love you!!
Raquel Mendiola, Gino Mendiola, Miguel Mendiola, Ceska Mendiola and Pau Sevilla
Miguel Mendiola
Thank you, big brother for being kaladkarin. I love you!
Friday, August 03, 2012
The Maine - Everything I Ask For
Life has a funny a way of turning things upside down. You wouldn't know when and how things will take its 180-degree turn -- you are expected to be ready to live with it or better yet, make the most out of it. Life will keep on surprising each one of us and we have to be ready to cope up with everything and anything that might come our way. "Everything changes" they said.. and I think, in a way, we're in control of these changes. It just surprises us when things go out of hand or things didn't end up the way we thought it would. Change is good. Change keeps us on our toes. Change is a tool for us to experience new and different things. Sometimes, change causes pain.. and this pain will serve as game-changer wherein it'll bring out the best and worst in you. It's up to you whether you'll help yourself to be better or you'll choose to get stuck with the shit that you're in. Truth.
Raph was my game-changer. He was the change, in human form, that came into my life and stayed in it for three years. Without a doubt, he brought out the best and worst in me. For the record, I was known as a cheater in my past relationships. Yes, I am really ashamed of that. People who knows me and my past might say that this is the continuation of my
'karma' but I beg to differ. I used to lie a lot; my exes might not know about it but oh well that's already part of the past. From the very start, the idea of having a relationship with him wasn't really on my mind not until I've gotten to know him better. Honestly, he didn't fall in any category of the guys that I'd probably like or have a crush on. It's just that he has this mysterious thing going on that made me like him. Plus the fact that he courted me for four years made me consider that he might really be the one for me since he didn't give up on me and the thought of us being together... not until now. (/wrist) There were no expectations at first. We spent time together doing childish stuff like playing Restaurant City from 4PM til 3AM. Weird, right? But we didn't mind at all since we played it together. Everything seems so simple back then. I remember summer of 2009 when we both cried because he was about to go to college and the thought of us, not seeing each other everyday was really.. i don't know. Devastating? I remember pa the music that played while we were hugging and crying together. (The song down there)
We The Kings - Secret Valentine
Raph was really a sweet guy before he stopped school. I don't know why he changed but unfortunately, he changed in a negative way. He would usually go to my house every Friday with korean ice cream + Nong Shim Shin cup + Oreos + Cheetos. We eat a lot; that's a fact. The food I mentioned were our favorite! Walang palya ang pag dala niya ng food pag pupunta dito. That's why we got so fat. Before LoL, he used to pluck my eyebrows and clean my nails. I even taught him how to remove his "in grown" -- spell check please? We usually do different things together like "derma-dermahan" or bake cookies/cupcakes or even make ceasar salad dressing because we wanted to go on a diet. I love how I can be myself with him.
This video made us eat Nong Shim shin cup! HOW TO BE KOREAN 101.
Raph eats like him and I don't understand why I couldn't do it.
 |
We can be ugly together.
Garnier mask: On |
The whole relationship was fun while it lasted. It was a definitely a roller coaster ride I would get into anytime. If I would be given a chance to relive the 3 years that we've spent together but will end up the same way it did.. I'd still accept it. In those 3 years, he really made me feel that I was loved and as cliche as it may sound, I felt like I was the luckiest girl in the world. The fights that we had were the ones that kept the love burning. We grew tired of all the fights, that's why our relationship went down the drain. -- Fact. Looking at the photos and the videos we have, made me realize that the 'kiss and make up' part after every fight was the one I always look forward to because that's the time when we go back to zero or start with a clean slate. If only we did the same thing we always do back then, everything will be alright. No one else can help me move on but myself. I should let go of every thing or memory that has something to do with him. It's okay to reminisce but not during the process of moving on. I have to pull myself together and be okay. He was able to do it.. he was able to let go. I should, too. I don't want to live in our past while he lives in his present. Things were better when he was around but I think everything will fall into its proper place in time. I'm not as strong as he is but I know I can surpass this.. and I will. I don't really have a choice. I can't say that he's the one that got away.. but what I can say is that I invested a lot and I gave him everything but still it isn't enough. All he needs is his computer games.. and his career? I've also realized that maybe the reason why he broke with me is that mahirap din for him to have a girlfriend as he enters showbiz. That's just the way it is. Someday, I'll eventually forget the hurt, the reason why I always cry at night, and who caused the pain. The secret of moving on is not revenge, but letting things unfold in their own way and at their own time. After all, what matters is not the first chapter of my life, but the last chapter for it will show how well I ran the race. I want to stop crying.. I don't want to dwell on the past anymore. I'm tired of the moments I have to beg myself to stop crying and for once, be strong and face the fact that it's really over. Again, no one can help me move on but myself. If only there's a machine which can make you forget of the person, I'd buy it. The worst part of moving on is when your partner has already moved on.. regardless if he has found someone new or not. Actions speak louder than words, they say.
It's funny how you look at some photos that will make you realize that there's nothing you can do to bring the past back no matter how hard you try. Just in any relationship, it involves two people's consent and effort for it to work out and be fruitful. Sadly, the path that Raph and I have came to an end but that doesn't mean my journey will end there. Our journey through life together siguro.. but not mine. He chose to travel alone and I should respect that. It will take time for the wounds to heal but I'm sure that someday I'll be okay. I'm ready to let go of the thought that I would marry Raph at the age of 25 and also the thought of naming our children: Rose Axel, Rumble, Rocket, and Renekton. I have to let go and move on. This isn't healthy for me. I'll make sure that the next guy i'll be with will be the one who I'll spend my whole life with. I don't commit to any guy just for the sake of having a boyfriend.. I always think of the future and if he's the one I want to grow old with. I promise to give him everything he'll ever need and to be the best for him. Oh well, I have to move on first. After every relationship, we really learn something that may or may not help in molding ourselves and our future. We change, that's a fact.. and I've said before, it's up to us if we'll change for the better or for the worst. What's important after a relationship ends is how you were with your past partner/lover -- if you gave more than what you can or if nag kulang ka. With this thought in mind, I can say naman na I was the best girlfriend I can ever be with him. I tried to the very end to make this relationship work, but to no avail.. he, himself, gave up. You can't force a person to spend his whole life with you.. you really can't. It's a sad truth. Maybe we weren't really meant for each other.. or maybe not. Who knows maybe we'll end up together eventually? But I'm not hoping. The only mistake I've made in this relationship was that I gave him everything and I forgot to leave some for myself.. Now, I'm left with nothing. I can't deny that I'm at the lowest point in my life but with the help of my friends and family, I'll get back on my feet in no time. I still love him very much and I wish I can just remove that love out of my system as soon as possible. I can't wait to meet someone new who'd make me forget about the pain and will prove to me that true love really exists.
 |
| BONNIE AND CLYDE!! |
I've already accepted the fact that we're over. I'm ready to close this chapter of my life and make a new one. It was a good run. I loved him til the very end. I'm ready to move on.
(Watch!)
Raph,
Thank you for the 3 years we've been together. I know it was a roller coaster ride but it was worth it naman diba? It's hard for me to accept the fact that we're over but I respect your decision. I wish you good luck on your new show. As much as I want to hate you, I just can't.. so I'll still love you instead. loljk. I have so many questions to ask but wag nalang since you don't want to talk about it. I want to let you know that I miss you everyday and I still love you. Have fun and I'll see you around. Take care of yourself. I still love you so much. :* :* :*
Tere
"Run, baby, run. Don't ever look back. They'll tear us apart if you give them the chance."
"The highlight comes when you kiss me.."
Monday, July 30, 2012
How can I get over someone I basically grew up with? He wasn't my 'first love' per se but it feels like it. Raph and I met 8 years ago -- we were classmates at Yamaha Katip while we were taking up guitar lessons. I didn't entertain him that much because I didn't really know how to deal with guys that time.. But I remember him treating me food and always waiting for me to be fetched before he heads home. Sweet, as always. I wasn't always sure of what was going on between us. We had a 'thing' when I was in second year highschool.. Also when I was in my third year and fourth. I always leave him with the thought in mind that he's just there when the right time comes. Come end of my first year in college, I was the one who courted him.. Lol. I just showed him how much I like him and luckily, he still likes me too. March 25, 2009 -- we became an official couple. "Can I be your boyfriend?" he asked. Without second thoughts, i said yes. Yup, I said yes with the help of McDo delivery and the lame movie "Chihuaha". The very first of many fail blogs happened that night. I don't want to write it here since super nakakahiya but I know he remembers. He surprises me a lot for the first few months and that made me realize that he really loves me and he wouldn't let go of our relationship that easy. We fought a lot as early as our second month but that didn't hinder us in trying to work things out because we both know that whatever happens, we'll still long for each other. We got fat togeUther since all we do was to eat like there's no tomorrow. We didn't care what others might say kasi baboy na kami because we accept naman each other even if we look like shit. I remember how his mom would tell us to go on a diet but that didn't stop us in eating everything and anything we see. Life was simple back then. We were contented with what he have. It was us against the world -- as other people would say it. He would get into fights with anyone for me.. Even with his mom. I'm not saying that it's what I wanted but I just saw and felt how much he loved me. If only we were as happy as before, we'll still be together now. We were a couple and at the same time, best friends. Considering that I'm a bit boyish and 'kupal', he was cool with it. We used to wrestle and he always practiced the moves he watched on WWE with me. Masakit, but it's okay. Hahaha! We used to play pretend that we're game show hosts while Ryan and his friends are outside the room. "Pera o Bayong" ang tema namin non. We were like little kids who played games until we get tired. We looked like fools with our games but we looked like fools TOGETHER. It's just fun to reminisce the good times Raph and I spent together. He was always the competitive type.. I used to always beat him in Fifa -- it made him play and practice til the break of dawn just to beat me the next day. He ALWAYS invite me to play Modern Warfare with him because he knows na no match ako sakanya. Lol. It's just fun to see him happy because he won against me. what he doesn't know is I just let him win. Kidding. :)) He loves zombies as much as I'm scared of them. Oh my God! I remember him acting like a zombie EVERYTIME we're together. The worst time he did that was when we were walking back to his house from katip -- Walking Dead ang peg omg! I remember crying every time he turned into a zombie then he'll just hug me tas zombie na naman siya. Nakakainis. Haha. We dance together kahit muka kaming tanga na feeling breakdancers. We make fun of people but mostly ako lang.. He still loves me nevertheless. We'd rather spend time with each other than go to our friends' parties because... We're both lazy. We'll drink together as in 1-on-1 mucho to mucho.. We used to have conversations about our exes or people we have a crush on like we're just friends. The thing that I really like about the relationship that we had was that I can be myself whenever I'm with him.. Not until everything turned 180 degrees. We were too complacent with each other. The things that we used to enjoy together suddenly became boring. I don't know what really happened. It's just like nawalan siya ng gana? Just like that, our relationship began whirling down the drain. He stopped texting me, stopped updating me and the like. I felt pa nga na he didn't want to spend some quality time with me. Sad. I didn't see this coming and until now, I'm still shocked with what happened between us. I don't understand why this has happened and it's really hard for me to accept the fact that the fun relationship I used to have with him is now over. Is it wrong if I'm still hoping that we'll get back together? No matter how fucked up our relationship was, I still believe that everything will be alright and we're really meant for each other. ..but he thinks/believes otherwise. I hope he believed in this relationship as much as I did. Things are different now nga lang.. Sabi nga nya, 'artista' na sya and maraming syang kasamang chics. Well, i don't know. For keeps VS for keps. I'll be okay in time.. I hope. Mag aartista din ako. I'll shine brighter than sunshine. Whuuut. Kk.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
I have never felt so down in my life. Raph and I broke up two weeks ago and I think this one's for good. I'm not quite sure if it's really for the better but I feel so down right now. I told myself I should feel better after a week but 2 weeks have passed, i still feel like shit. I'm not as strong as I think I am. It's really hard for me to just forget the 3 years we've spent together. Quality-wise-- our relationship was in a black hole with no room to grow and no space to breathe.. But still, I want to be in that black hole with the thought in my mind that we'll get out of it and live like how most of the couples we know do. It's heartbreaking to be with someone who doesn't even try to work things out when all you do is to try everything so that what you both have doesn't fall apart. Well I think that's just the way it is.. He doesn't want this as much as I do. I don't know how to cope up with this. I don't know how they do it -- moving on that easy. I just can't let go of the idea that we'll last forever. Cliche, i know. I've spent many nights pondering on the reasons why it didn't end up the way I planned it to be and I must admit, it wasn't that difficult. There were issues that I just couldn't let go and also, the fact that things have changed made us drift apart. My friend, Lira, told me that to be able to move on, I should understand why things went wrong and I should just accept it. Right now, I understand everything but I can't accept the fact that it's really over between us. This is really heartbreaking for me. I show my friends this facade that I created to mask the sadness that I really feel which is really hard for me because at the end of the day, I end up crying myself to sleep. It's just so hard to show them how sad and depressed I am because I know all my friends and family members are already tired from this fucked up relationship as much as I am. I'm not saying naman na they gave up on me, I just prefer to keep this to myself since no one can help me but myself. I just wonder how he does it. It looks like he's okay and he's not even affected with what has happened.. But what do I know diba? It's devastating how he left me just like that.. Without even saying a decent good bye. Up to the last chat that we had, he just continued to push me away. This is not really easy for me. It's so hard to get over someone you planned your whole life with.
I think that the first step I should do is to keep my distance from Raph's friends or anyone that I became friends with because of Raph. It'll be hard for me to do such thing since I've already created a strong foundation with these people but I think it will be for the best. No matter how much effort I put into these relationships I have with these people, syempre Raph will come first for them. One incident with his friends has already happened that made me feel bad and made me realize that... Nevermind. Basta i just want to emphasize that I was there for them when they were at their lowest and when they needed a friend pero now that I'm the one in need, waley. Hukersss. I feel bad right now but I think naman after a few weeks i'll get over it. I love them as much as I love my other friends but I think being friends with them now won't help me move on. If my dad was able to do it with us, siguro I can too. I always do things for other people, this time ako naman.. I'm surely going to miss them.
I'm tired of feeling down. I'm tired staring blankly into space. I'm tired of thinking about all the what ifs. I'm tired of pretending that I'm okay. I'm tired of wondering how he is right now. I'm tired of thinking if he already has someone new. I'm tired of of waiting for his reply whenever I try to call/text/chat him. I'm tired of wishinh that I would see him in random places. I'm tired of being stupid. I'm tired of being head over heels with a person who doesn't even care about me. I'm tired of loving him unconditionally. I'm tired of waiting for him. I'm tired of being sad. I'm tired. I don't know why I still want us to get back together despite the differences that we have and the issues that we haven't resolved yet (and probably never will). I know someday someone better will come into our lives, the one who would sweep us off our feet.. The problem is that I don't want something better because I believe I already had the best. I don't want a perfect relationship; I want challenges. -- in this way, after every fight that we have.. We'll still walk in public, holding hands, showing people that we can surpass every challenges that come our way and we fall deeper in love after every obstacle. ..but unfortunately, that's not the case. If only he thinks the same way as I do, everything will be alright. It's just sad that he doesn't know how much I love him and how bad I want to fix this. Well, I can't force him naman na to like/love this relationship as much as I do. A relationship involves two people.. Eh ako lang may gusto nito. I don't want to force him to get back with me. Crazy thought. I just wish he would at least talk to me about what happened. Loving a person unconditionally isn't easy.. And so is moving on. Martyrdom, yes? Hay. I wanna feel better. I love him so much it hurts. Nakakahiya ako. :(
Saturday, February 21, 2009
It's been months since I last updated this site. Anyhooots.. I'm only doing this 'cause I'M
SOOOO BORED. I don't even know what to write. Hahaha! Updates nalang.. Hmm okay.. so now I'm single for 6 months.. (since my last REAL&OFFICIAL relationship). So what's new? I have a new guy. YEHEEEES. Actually, he's not really new. We had
something special when I was in 1st year HS but that time it was a bit complicated.. We also had 'something' back when I was in 3rd year HS but.. (there will always be a BUT. haha!) I kindov left him hanging kasi I chose to be with another guy considering that he was there when my life was so fucked up. Ganun ako ka-gago NOON. Imagine this ha, I asked him("new" guy) to be my promdate.. everything was going alright UNTIL after i met the OTHER guy(now my ex-bf). Let's just name them Mut(new) and Tum(ex). So there.. Tum and I started going out then the next thing I know, we were somehow already going steady. That left me with no choice but to cancel my invitation to Mut. It was not the best idea that I had but shit happened. Hahaha. So for two years, Mut and I didn't talk that much. As much as I wanted to talk to him and explain the shit that happened, I couldn't 'cause I was too embarassed for the shit I've done. I just chose to let it all pass and at the same time, I was wishing that he will just forget about it. As expected, we went our separate ways.. He had a girlfriend, who surprisingly was a close friend of my friend. I remember meeting her once during our modeling practice for Ateneo HS fashion show. Ehhh bat ba napunta sa girlfriend niya. So waiiiit!! Anyway.. after Mut, the guys that I've dated were.. how will I put it in one word?.. They were uhhm.. Different? Different in a negative way. They just fall under these categories -- GAY, PLAYER, PERVERT, and SUPERMUSHY(worst ever). Haha! I have the worst luck ever. Haha. No regrets! I learned how to be more alert with guys. Hahaha. For the effin record, most of the guys that I've dated were GAAAAY. :)) Faaaak. Anyway. Mut is different from all of them okaaaay. All this time I was looking for the right and perfect guy.. and I just realized now that that guy is the guy that I've taken for granted for the past four fucking years. How stupid can I get? Hello. Mut was just always in front of me but I insisted to look elsewhere. Waley the world. So yea, now I'm pretty sure with who I should fall in love with. I'm just afraid with the fact that I left him twice, baka this time I'll be the one who'll be left hanging. :l Aggh. I really really really really really really like him.. He's different from the others. He makes me feel special.. Ewan ko. Iba talaga. He's concerned pero he's not the type na hanggang salita lang? EWAN KO. My whole family likes him.. (sister, cousins, most especially my MOM and MAMALOLA) I feel comfortable with him as in parang friends pero HINDI KASI FRIENDS. Hahaha. My friends like him.. My family likes him.. I like him.. Actually
I'm already falling for him. This is my
THIRD CHANCE with him..
Will this be my lucky third?
Mut's real name is Raph Santiago
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
SUPER FUN DAY!! :) :)Hello lang. After dismissal time I was planning to go to Katip to meet up with Kaye at Mcdo. I texted Kev Abadam and Tobie Reynes, assuming that they're at Katip din. Kev was at his friend's house while Tobie's at school. Haha. Sabi ni Tobie mag isaw daw kami.. Sabi ko GAME! Saan? Tapos punta daw akong Palma Hall. So I went there, nung tinanong ko kung san kami mag isaw. Wala pa daw isaw, sarado pa and 3 pa magbubukas. Hello lang! So sabi niya kain nalang daw kami sa Casaa i said okay. When we got there, nilibre niya ko ng spicy chicken fillet (detailed?) tapos yun. Hahahaha! Ang gentleman okay lang? KINUHANAN PA KO NG TUBIG.Kaaaay. Tubig lang yun. BUT STILL! :)) We were discussing about his take home exam in Math. So pinipilit kong answeran, di namin maansweran. :| Haha. Tapos yosi lang sa labas, muka lang akong yaya niya okay lang ba yon. Hindi okay yon. Haha. :) Quarter to one bumalik na kami sa Palma Hall kasi papasok na siya and pupuntahan ko pa sila Kaye.. Mukang sinamahan pa niya ko tumawid at nag stay siya dun sa left side ko kung san ang mga cars :"> HELLO LANG. :) Tapos tapos tapos!! Pinagbuksan pa niya ko ng pinto. At ganito ang naging bye bye :
Tere: O bukas ah, inom.
Tobie: Sabihan mo si JC
Tere: Sabihan mo si Aprille
Tobie: Sigesige.
Tere: Sige.
Tobie: Sabihin mo kay JC nag date tayo.
So kilig na kilig na ko neto kahit alam kong joke lang yun. Hahahahaha. Pero bawal padin eh kasi may Andi and kabarkada ko si Andi. Respeto nalang. :) GRABE LANG!! :) :) Kilig na ko neto. :| Tapos i met up with sina Kaye na.. SUPER NAMISS KO SILA KAYY. Haha. :) Tapos i texted Tobie para dun sa answer sa math exam niya. Ayun tapos sabi ko nasa Mcdo ako. Tinanong niya kung sino kasama ko at ang "TAKAW" ko daw. All caps yan ah. Haha. AAAAT hindi ako nakareply. :| :| :|
Dapat magmmeet kami ni Kev Abadam sa Rob Metro East pero waley 30 mins lang ako pwede eh. Di anman niya sinabi na pwede niya ko ihatid.. :| Next time, next time. Hahaha. :)
HELLO LANG SA ARAW NA TOOOOOO. :)
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
It's been a while since I last wrote an entry. I have my own journal na kasi.. Naisip ko, hindi ko na kelangan ipagbulgaran sa buong mundo love life ko. Haha. Since hindi naman din legal, it should be kept as a secret. Weh ulul. Hahaha. Oh well. Dito nalang share ko about sa other stuff. NAGBAKE AKO NG COOKIES.. PALPAK EH! HINDI KO BINASA YUNG PROCEDURE. Mother F! Badtripppp. Haha. Hindi tuloy nagflat yung cookies ko. HAHAHA. Badtripppppp! : : Oh well. Hindi na ko nakakalabas ng bahay, ang main labas ko nalang is pag pupunta ako sa gym or sa Divi. Well hello, commuter na ko. :)) I haven't been with my friends lately, minsan ko nalang din sila makausap. I MISS THEM.
I MISS MARA AND MICH. Huhuhu. Oh well, Bora next week! YAAAAAY. Dami kong makikita dun. Boy hunting na to! Haha. Or... SECRET. ;) Dami kong inoorganize na lakad these days. Haha. Oh well, leadership skills? Nyeh.
April 11, FridayBW lunch at Katip then swimming at Fil2(Licah) or Guiang's pad. Not yet sure..
Mga pupunta: Tere Lira Donna Claire Kaye Bets Dea Yas Guiang Huwey Russalie Licah Dani Patty
Hindi pwede: Alex Baello Legs
April 22, TuesdayUST ENROLLMENT!
AHS fashion show models' reunion.. Dinner and inuman either kela Sean or Paul's pad. SEAN PAUL. Yess. HAHA. If di pa kami okay ni Paul by that time baka hindi na ko pumunta. : )
Mga sure na: Marco JC Tobie Raffy Doza Miggy Paul Jonik Bryant Tere Iana Pam Iris
Mga dapat sabihan: Karla Les Flo Ignacio Janna Crescent Tin Chuckie and other male models who i don't remember
YAAAAY. : ) Binabalak namin ni Mara na matutulog kami sa Sofitel this summer. :) Who wants to join us. MAYAMAN TAYO.
Namimiss ko na siya. Alam ko sinabi ko na wag kami magusap for 1 week pero 4 days palang, di ko na kinakaya. Galing nga niya eh, kayang-kaya niya. Well i guess he's moving on, i'm happy for him. Uy! Bitter? HAHA. Badtrip si Doza at Tobie eh.. Haha alam nilang may super gusto ako na kilala niyo na kung sino, pareho ba naman nilang sinabi na "eh babae ka pala eh". Dati lang yun, ngayong wala na siya.. Lalaki na po ako ulit.
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Time to blog! Haha. : ) Last Friday, Shacka bonding! Nagmeet kami sa Him5 ng 330 then off to Baello's pad at 4. Food trip lang, mukang naka 2 ice creams kami in a row eh. After bumili ng isa, bili pa ulit. Pag kasama talaga sila, walang pakelamanan kung tumaba man or hindi. Haha. Grabe i missed them so much!! Tumawag si Lira sa mom ko para ipaalam ako na overnight nalang ako dun, PUMAYAG! Eh nung ako nagpaalam hindi naman. Sabi kasi ng mom ko mas gusto niyang friends sila Lira, so yun.. Haynako. Tawanan lang and reminisce. Haha. Tinignan namin autograph book ni Baello eh, kawindang! HAHA. Isse ang nickname ni Claire and LiWa naman kay Lira. HAHA. Steady lang. Pag sa UST na kami ni Lira nagaaral.. -- "LASLAS!! RAKRULZZZ" Haha. Kawawa naman kami. Huhu. We went na sa Underarrest then sumama muna ako kela Skye sa bahay ni Inigo kasi may inuman kasi birthday ni Moses! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :D Hinatid ako ni Skye sa condo ni Baello ng mga 330am.. Usap lang with sila Lira til 5am. Tapos tulog na. Super sikip sa bed, musta naman yun.. 5 kaming nagsiksikan. Isang position lang dapat. HAHA. We were planning to go to EK pero mukang tinamad kaming lahat eh. Chill nalang, nuod ng news, at mag make-up. HAHA. Nagswim din kami, napakalamig ples. Haha. Then we went to Petron na.. HAHA. Yun nalang yun. Ang saya 24 hours kong kasama Shacka.. Sayang hindi kami kumpleto.
---- SERIOUS POST NA ----
Grabe, i missed hanging out with Shacka. Parang it's a different feeling.. Super saya ko! Yun lang yun. Thinking na iba na kasama ko pero sila magkakasama padin, pero pag kami magkakasama parang normal lang. Eto talaga yung group of friends ko na i can consider TRUE FRIENDS. Kung anu-ano pinaguusapan namin, anything under the sun. I just realized, why did i take them for granted? I had the best but i still chose to go with the group i thought i'd be happy with. Wala lang. It's just sad na lumipat ako.. Haynako. Well, anyway.. I had super fun! Saktong bonding lang talaga. FRIENDS TIL THE END.. :D Nakakalungkot lang din na parang hindi na kami mag bestfriends ni Mich. Mahirap tanggapin pero it's like we have our different worlds na. Compared to dati, parang MICH AND TERE against the "world". Ngayon, ewan. Medyo hindi nga rin kami nagpapansinan nung party. Ewan.. I think she's happier naman kasi with her new set of friends and i have nothing against it. Kung san sya masaya, so be it. Basta all i know is, i'll be here for her no matter what. Nakakalungkot lang din na hindi na kami nakakapagshare sa isat-isa, it's as if i dont know her na nga eh. Hopefully, we'll be close again.. Nagpromise pa naman kami sa isa't-isa na whatever happens, solid parin kami. Pero mukang wala na eh, waley. Madalas hindi na ko kasali sa plano niya.. I don't blame her naman, alam ko at some point nag kulang din ako. Pero ewan.. Oh well. Whatever happens, nandito parin ako for her :D I wish her the best. Anyway, we were thinking (Shacka), na dapat once a week magkikita kami. Hello naman, ang layo namin sa isa't-isa. Pero kaya yan! basta gustuhin. HAha. :) I missed Shacka big time! Wala lang. Haha. I loveeeee them.
Another serious part sa entry ko :
So final na talaga yung closure na yun. I was with Shacka when i talked to him.. It was hard, really hard, to let someone I like go. Sakit lang.. Tawag siya ng tawag pero i was hesitant to answer, ewan ko. I need to be strong eh, kailangan ko na talaga lumugar. Masakit na ngayon pero pag tumagal pa baka mas lalong masakit. Pinarealize nga sakin nila Lira na kain pride kapag kinausap ko pa siya. Kasi ilang beses na ba kami "naghiwalay"? Hello, 3rd time na to. Baka nga isipin niya na madali lang naman ako makuha ulit. Pride naman para sakin diba.. or SELF RESPECT nalang. May paraan naman kasi talaga kung talagang gusto niya ko eh pero sorry nalang sakin, hindi niya talaga maiwan gf niya. Kahit ilang beses pa niyang sabihin na sobrang gusto niya ko, wala naman siyang ginagawa about it then para san pa diba?
I deserve to be more than his other girl. Gosh. I super like him, actually more than like na pero tangina kelangan lumugar. I know how it feels to be cheated on, kaya sana hindi ko nalang ginagawa sa iba diba. I WAS SELFISH, i know kaya i'm really sorry that i did that. Ngayon, hindi ko na talaga alam gagawin ko. There's this guy pero ayoko siyang gawing rebounder. Ewan, i know mali pero ewan ko! Matagal siguro bago mawala yung pagkagusto ko sakanya.. Super gusto ko siya, BIG TIME. Ang hirap mag let go, but i must. Tangina.. Bahala na. Kung babalik siya sakin, sana hindi too late. I REALLY LIKE HIMMMMM. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHH! Nakakainis, bakit sa may girlfriend pa? Nakakaasar lang talaga. Oh well. Bahala na talaga. : ( Nakakalungkot lang kasi sanay ako kausap and katext siya lagi pero ngayon, kelangan ko ng umiwas.. Ewan. Nakakagulo ng isip.
**Grabe, 1800 yung bill ko sa sun. Dapat 300 lang kasi! HAHA. 1330 ang texts ko sa globe! Hello naman. HAHA. Tignan natin kung ganun kalaki parin ngayon, haha.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
I was thinking of writing a long entry.. but i'm too lazy to write them all down. Super daming nangyari yesterday! Shiiiit. Balance of nature na ba? : )
Ginanahan na ko bigla. I was too preoccupied kanina eh. So there.. We have 4 more academic days while everyone else will have their
last set of exams this week. Quite unfair right?.. Oh well, that's how the wheel turns. Ano? Haha. We're done with our IP, papers, and other long tests. I still need to prepare for our debate on Thursday.. Tsktsk. Bahala na si Batman.
OKAY. TINAMAD NA KO BIGLA.
eto nalang ----->
I MISS HIM. AFTERNOON PERSON AKO EH : )Guy 1 *I told myself wag magpadala sa mga nangyayari, cause malinaw naman na hindi ako yung
'true love' niya. NADALA LANG.. Last night, he apologized sa nangyari samin dati and he told me he missed me. Well, honestly, namiss ko din siya.. namimiss padin. Haynako. Pero it's about time na nag sorry na talaga siya sa nangyari dati pero okay naman na kasi. Friends na nga kami nung girl eh, all G na. Forgive and forget.. Oh well. We hugged and kiss sa cheeks. Haynako.. Sabi ko hindi ako magpapadala eh, pag gising ko okay pa ko. Pero nung naisip isip ko na, grabe hindi okay eh.. simple gestures lang, nafall nanaman ata ako ulit?.. Gusto ko pa siya, kahit sobrang tagal na nun. Ewan ko.. Or should i just stop liking him nalang kaya? Ewan ko. May pag-asa naman sakin eh, if ever. ? Ewan. I never imagined na magiging ganun ka "sweet" pa kami after namin magbreak. Ohwell.. *
Guy 2 *This is about another person naman : Yun nga, i miss him! Pero nakakalungkot lang kasi na we needed to end things na. I like him, well more than like na eh. Love ko na siya kahit 10% palang. Hindi ganun kagrabe.. Pero gets? Ganun parin eh. Haynako.. I don't know what to do na. Super attached kasi ako eh. I'm not closing my door to future relationshiop with him. Yun nalang yun.. : ) *
Friday, February 08, 2008
I just had too much. I won't ever take a glimpse into my past.. AGGH. New life, Tere... NEW LIFE.
